Updated: Nov 17
It’s easy to play small. It’s safer.
We all do it.
To what degree we do it is the question.
Playing too BIG seems to be my greatest strength– and downfall. It gets in the way of the balance of my life.
Big goals. Big actions. Biggy Bigs. And then a bit too big.
Cue the paralysis. Back to being small.
Currently being deep in the full-on life chapter of Mom and Wife I have a hard time finding equilibrium with my bigness.
Do I play big in my coaching business or go big in my Mom’ing and Wife’ing?
Somehow, I’ve been carrying the belief that I can’t do both simultaneously. If I do I will be a distracted non-productive and scattered Mom and entrepreneur.
This is my small.
When I get locked in a belief that doesn’t allow me to see alternate routes. The lane gets narrow and the roads of possibilities feel like cul-de-sacs.
This has been the question that over the past 6 months has caused me to pump the breaks of my business (no newsletter, social media, blogs, intention biz growth). I wanted to prioritize being more present with my kids and stop multi-tasking while in Mom mode.
So I pumped the biz breaks and I did that. We crafted, and cooked, I volunteered in their classrooms and field trips, did learning challenges, watched funny baking shows, and played in the yard.
Then I’d have spurts of feeling anxious from Mom’ing so hard and I'd fall out of alignment. Domestic duties made me restless. So I’d rev the gas on my biz…then feel guilty and pump the breaks… then rev it up again.
Whiplash was the result of those choices.
Recently while attending the Mindset Coaching for Mindset Coaches master group I was given a powerful assignment that helped me tear up the playing small script.
It was a valuable tool that I’m passing on to you.
To purposely play bigger we have to do just that; be purposeful.
We need to take time to intentionally dream. Whether that is in the shower, on a walk, or during a commute. Take a moment to journal or just mindfully consider the following questions:
· What do you really want to experience in your life?
· What is your next level?
· What would you do if you weren’t scared?
· What feels like it’s pulling you?
Then go deeper. Get more specific.
For me, it’s dreaming about finding that sweet balance of playing BIG in both arenas.
Shattering the belief that it’s either one or the other.
*See below for the Life Vision Worksheet pdf for an organized way to navigate this next part.
After considering the questions above think of a word or phrase that encompasses all that you want in your life right now. It's hard to pick one. I know. Just do it.
1. One word intention
Don’t overthink it.
It can change.
Mine is Quantum Leap. (ok 2 words) I needed to be open to a new reality that was beyond what my current me can visualize. Old habits and beliefs pull me into old ways of thinking.
This ain't no elf-skipping kind of leap...
For me, it’s holding on tight and HELLA trusting in the BIGNESS of the possibility of ALL OF IT becoming my reality. It's taking the hand of my partner and declaring.
"This is where we're going! You ready to leap with me?!"
He gave a resounding yes so... it's game on.
So once you get clear on your intention then put some thought into your Life Pillars.
2. 3-4 life pillars.
These are your non-negotiables. The things that are the most important to you.
Here are mine:
Be a Mom and Wife AF
Contribute financially in a way that makes a significant difference for our family
Be healthy inside and out and work on an intentional fitness goal
Make a significant positive impact on women and teens through my coaching
3. Affirmations Write out a few that are in alignment with your pillars. Remember affirmations are goals written in the present tense. We want the affirmations to evoke images that you can use when visualizing your dream actualizing.
Here’s my main affirmation:
I am a success mindset coach that makes a significant difference in the lives of many and I naturally engage playfully and lovingly as a Mom and Wife.
4. Images. Pick some in your mind that represent your affirmations & write them in.
A cliff with someone bravely leaping across a canyon
A Mom laughing with her kids
5. Actionables. Write out 4 specific ways that you can take action this week.
Ask yourself what can I do this week that’s scary?
To create a group coaching course so I can reach 5 teen girls at once instead of 5 individual hours that usually need to take place after school when my kids are home. Therefore making more time to show up in my leveled-up Mom way & grow my business simultaneously.
This solution sounds simple and obvious but I was blocked mentally from pulling the trigger because I believed it wasn't possible to do both.
Change the belief- change the result.
The key is to start becoming aware of internal subconscious conflicts that stunt your growth. They paralyze your progress. They keep you small.
My limiting belief that I couldn’t be both a Badass business owner and a Bad Ass Mom and Wife kept me small. Without rigorous honesty and self-reflection we can often view our limiting beliefs as our truth. Here is a chance to get clear and challenge any false truths are blocking you from your radical potential.
Take some time to print this worksheet & fill it in.
Then carve out time each morning to:
1. Re-read your Life Vision Worksheet
2. Do the following Breathing Technique:
5-count breath in and hold for a 5-count. At the top of the breath bring to mind your intentional word and the images that go with it. Exhale for 5 and do the same 5xs through. 5x5x5x5
3. Once you’ve done the 5 breaths. Repeat your affirmations and experience the images. Bring them to life in your mind’s eye.
4. Commit to at least one of the actions steps on your worksheet to do TODAY!
Are you committed to doing 10 minutes of daily mindset work?
Start today with the vision for your future and train your brain to find the results you want. Feel free to reach out if you have questions or want to share your vision.